For any adult who has gone through the process of being diagnosed with a mental disorder such as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, etc., there comes the gut-wrenching, nerve-wracking experience of informing your family. You worry what the reaction will be; will they be understanding and supportive? Dismissive? Angry? There are a whole host of emotions to take into account for this particular situation.
Then there’s someone like this mother who wrote into Dear Prudence this week. According to this woman, her college-aged daughter conned some phony doctor into giving her an ADHD diagnosis just so can get a free pass to take drugs. Let’s have a look at this in more detail.
First of all, I like how this mother addresses her letter to Dear Prudence as “Daughter on Drugs.” Right. From that title, you would think this woman’s daughter was snorting ten lines of cocaine in a skeezy club bathroom and topping it off with a few huffs off a crack pipe.
But no, her daughter knew her grades were suffering, was in danger of losing her scholarship, and probably was already struggling to understand why she couldn’t just sit down and concentrate on her work. Sensing something might be off, the daughter took adult action and went to the doctor to have herself checked out. She received a diagnosis, which probably flipped on a few lights in regards to her self-perception, and decided to take the recommended prescribed medication.
So, how does her mother react to her daughter taking responsibility for her health and mental well being? Call her daughter lazy, refer to her daughter’s doctor as a “quack,” and moan about why her daughter can’t just do her work. And it gets better (or rather, worse).
The mother continues to be in denial even when her daughter correctly points out that maybe her mother should have noticed something was up when she was younger and not put so much pressure on her when there was, in fact, an actual mental disorder involved. The mother continues to whine about her daughter “taking dangerous drugs.” Yes, because everyone knows that Adderall is the new gateway drug. First comes the Adderall, then comes your daughter dead in a crack den with a trail of heroin needle marks in her arm.
And get this, the mother goes on to say that her daughter received straight-As last semester. Which means that her daughter was correct and the medication is helping to solve the problem. This woman sounds like the type of person who thinks that that cancer can be cured with natural herbs and vaccines cause autism. Thankfully, her husband seems to be more rational and basically says to leave their daughter alone since her grades have exponentially improved.
Luckily, Prudence agrees that this woman is an overbearing, controlling asshole who needs to grow up. If you want to read the full response, check it out here:
I do hope the young lady is continuing to do well in school and that her father is in her corner while she handles her diagnosis. I really do not want this same young girl to be writing to Dear Prudence in 10-15 years about having to cut off her narcissistic, manipulative mother who continually tries to interfere with her medical decisions.
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