Yes, that’s right; I watched Avengers and it was even worse than I remembered.
Oh, no. Not that Avengers.
Nope, not that one, either.
Mother of God, I wish.
No, no. I watched this Avengers:
Now, many of you might not recognize this show, called Avengers: United They Stand. It premiered on Fox Kids in 1999 when I was around twelve. My older brother and I were very into Marvel and had been huge fans of the other Marvel superhero cartoon shows of the 90s; X-Men, Spider-Man, The Incredible Hulk, even the shorter-lived cartoons of Iron Man and The Fantastic Four. Apparently, Fox tried to capitalize on its massive success with X-Men: The Animated Series by introducing an Avengers cartoon. It was canceled after one season. Looking back, it’s easy to see why this show didn’t last long. I had practically forgotten about this cartoon, but thanks to YouTube, I managed to find downloads of the two-part pilot episode. They’re not the best quality, but they were sufficient.
First of all, don’t be fooled by the poster. You see those three characters standing atop Ant-Man? I think you all recognize them; Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America. The primary members of the Avengers; remember them? Well, don’t get used to them because none of them ever appear in this series again after the opening credits. There was an actual reason for this. Fox was planning individual cartoons starring Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man separately, but the projects never ended up coming to fruition.
Iron Man is generally recognized as the de-facto leader of the Avengers, especially given that he is the provider of Avengers Tower. But since he doesn’t make an appearance, who is the next in line to lead the Avengers? This guy.
images via Avengers: United They Stand Wiki
That’s right; we have Ant-Man as the leader of the Avengers. Ant-Man. Let that sink in. And no, this isn’t the convivial Scott Lang as played by the charming Paul Rudd Ant-Man. We’re getting Hank Pym, but not even the curmudgeonly, egotistical, yet hilariously loveable Michael Douglas Hank Pym. Hank Pym, thanks to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, has gotten a decent character makeover in the recent years, so he’s not as much of an asshole as he initially was in the comics. Before the MCU, most Marvel fans used to remember Hank Pym for stuff like this:
And this:
And this:
Yeah…it’s all very uncomfortable, to say the least. This is absolutely not the guy anyone would want as a substitute leader. Honestly, I think people would probably prefer for the Hulk to fill in before Ant-Man. Obviously, the cartoon doesn’t go into any of the truly dark stuff with Hank Pym, but even at his best, Ant-Man was never the leader-type. He was usually a lot happier being left alone in his lab and research in-between crime fighting.
Not only are the costume designs gaudy and hideous, but the dialogue is completely forced, poorly written, and cringeworthy, I couldn’t figure out whether I should laugh or groan. As I watched the episode, I noticed that among all the awfulness, there was something so familiar about this. And I realized that I had seen this before. Not literally speaking, but it was clear that Fox thought they could recycle the X-Men characters and use their most basic and generic traits to make Avengers: United They Stand. Even the way some of the characters were designed had a hint of familiarity from X-Men.
Ant-Man/Hank Pym is supposed to be Cyclops, the leader. That’s it. Oh yeah, and science stuff.
images via Avengers: United They Stand Wiki and Playbuzz
Wasp/Janet Van Dyne is Jean Grey. A very bland and watered down Jean Grey with none of Jean’s vitality which made her character famous in the first place. Anyone with some familiarity with the comics knows Jan as the vivacious, fun-loving, sarcastic socialite who successfully ran her own fashion business while fighting crime. She even came up with the name “The Avengers” for the team. Here, she’s had all the personality drained out of her, and is relegated to the role of “supportive wife.” Again, that’s about all there is to her.
images via Heroes Wikia and Marvel Database
Tigra is Rogue. Literally. Because Tigra is voiced by Lenore Zann, who was the actual voice of Rogue in X-Men the Animated Series. It’s still the sassy, southern gal with an attitude Rogue; it’s just that a cat woman has supplanted her body.
images via Marvel Animated Universe Wiki and Marvel Database
Scarlet Witch is basically Storm as they both have the trait of “the foreign sorceress-type person who flies.”
images via Pooh’s Adventures Wiki and Marvel Animated Universe Wiki
Vision, for all intents and purposes, is Beast, the odd one out, not-quite-human, appearance-wise.
images via Behind the Voice Actors and Death Battle Wiki
Falcon, I hate to give him this classification, but I have to. He’s Jubilee, the newbie. He’s the new guy. That about sums him up.
images via Behind the Voice Actors and Animated Views
And then there’s Hawkeye. Oh, Hawkeye. This was probably the worst characterization of the entire show. The producers apparently could not do without a dark(ish), broody, honorary lose cannon type in the vein of Wolverine, so they awarded that role to Hawkeye. Hawkeye’s character here is a poor man’s Wolverine right down to the deep, gruff, raspy voice. While it sounded natural and cool from Wolverine’s voice actor, Cathal J. Dodd, here it sounds like Hawkeye swallowed a chopstick that is now permanently lodged in his throat.
images via Marvel Animated Universe Wiki
And lastly, we have Wonder Man. He’s the Morph of this show. They share the trait of “getting axed off and presumed dead within the first episode.”
images via Marvel Animated Universe Wiki
Wonder Man has the tragic storyline of getting critically injured in battle, and it seems he may be lost to the team forever, much to the distress of Wonder Man’s best friend, Hawkeye…is any of this sounding familiar to anyone out there? Oh yeah, because it’s the same damn plotline to the X-Men pilot episode. Morph is presumed dead after a battle with the sentinels to the dismay of his best friend, Wolverine who swears vengeance; yeah, the same story.
images via Marvel Animated Universe Wiki and IMDB
Our primary antagonist of the series, naturally, is Ultron, Pym’s evil sentient robot. I admit, Ultron’s voice sounds pretty cool and sounds how you might imagine. He’s not James Spader, but he definitely has the menacing, mechanical voice down pretty well. However, when you see Ultron’s design…well, it’s hard to stop laughing. You keep forgetting that how creepy Ultron is supposed to be because you’re too busy snickering when you look at this:
images via Marvel Animated Universe Wiki and Eleyx
I can’t figure out if Ultron sprung a leak here or if he’s doing a spit take:
All in all, Avengers: United They Stand is an inferior representation of the Avengers universe. If you want to see an excellent Avengers cartoon, I recommend Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. It is supremely awesome.
It’s criminal that it only lasted two seasons despite positive reviews, but I can assure you that those two seasons are worth your time if you’re a Marvel fan. Ant-Man is there, but thank God, Tony Stark is back as the leader. Seriously Fox, who thought Ant-Man was the next best option? Just one of the many mysteries of the universe that keeps me up at night.
Welcome To The Gyre 
Hilarious! I missed out on this one (and apparently didnt miss much). Definitely makes me nostalgic for all the cartoons of my youth!
Ditto. The promos of Avengers: United They Stand introduced me to the Avengers, but I never got familiar with them until I was already in college. I wish I could have seen a good quality Avengers show during my childhood in addition to the X-Men series. They just never got much marketing.